“Who do you think you are?!”. “Who are you to give names to me like that?”. “You know, I hate you and I’ve never hated anyone this much before!”. “You have no dignity!”. “That’s all I need to say!”. “Get out of here!”.
Words, oh words...they can mean so much. One minute you’re smiling, then you are down with sadness. These words were shouted to me once. It was a big smack on the face. No one had ever said such words to me before, that is, until one day things started to get worse and out of hand. I learned a lot from this and I learnt best from her, my teacher.
This is a true story had happened to me quite sometime ago. What happened to me shall never be forgotten for the rest of my life. The incident was between me and a teacher a my previous school, no need to mention who, just as an experience I’d like to share with all. I didn’t know her from the start. She wasn’t even teaching in my class. I just knew her by name as she was new here. My academic performance had faced a downturn, and I had to reshuffle class. I ended up being on of her students. I attended her class for the first time and I’m got excited to learn more. She had a way in approaching her students. She posses a style different from other teachers, well at least that was what I could see. It was easy to interact with her and she had a special bond with her students. As days grew by, I was unaware of how intimate my relationship with her had grown. We were like best friends. As I grew closer to her, I was able to share my problems and express my feelings to her. She was always there for me and gave her full support when I needed it. When it comes to solving questions or just about anything that came up, she would be my sanctuary, she was my godmother and my guardian angel.
Once when I had a big problem after getting involved in a serious discipline case, she was the first human being to come and comfort me. How she talked to me made me realized my mistake and gradually I learnt from it. No other teachers in this world have done what she did to me. I guess others would think it as a humiliation, but she didn’t. She came to me and guided me through. The bond between us grew stronger. We would spend a few hours talking to each other and share our opinions. She never cared when and where, as long as we were together. In the process, I grew mature and there was always a new hope for me everyday, because she was my hope. I’m aware, I sometimes crossed the line and can be quite rude and unmannered when confronting her. I thought of it many times but asking for forgiveness was hardly an opinion. At times, I thing she noticed, but I knew she just turned a blind eyes. Until reached a certain point, I told her I regretted my sins and ask her for guidance. She smiled and gave a convincing nod.
Things went on as usual. But somehow I noticed a slight change in her and I didn’t know for what reason. She wasn’t the person I used to know before. She even treated me differently and this time it was quite unpleasant for someone who had known her so well. I started to think of my sins and rudeness towards her. I tried everything I could to apologize. Yes, she smiled seemingly to accept my apology, and yes she nodded but her eyes were telling me it’s not going to be the same anymore.
On one occasion, I was brave enough to confront her after ignoring her presence for quite sometime and apologized. But it was still the same. I tried to ask where I had gone wrong but all she wanted was to forget the past and her reasons will always be the same-the past shall remain as the past and just let it be. You can just imagine how frustrated I was to hear her say such a thing. It was as if there was no more hope for us to be like what we were before. I can’t believe she left me stranded in the middle of nowhere and didn’t have the slightest intention of turning back. It felt like dooms day and I thought I had reached the end.
The situation grew worse than I thought. It had reached to the point where she wouldn’t even try to sole the question I asked. I was devastated and disappointed by her. I knew at that moment she was no longer the teacher I admire and my love for her was slowly turning into hatred. On one particular day, I could not bear to hold my feelings. I burst into tears regretting and hating what had happened. I had lost my godmother, my friend. She was no longer there for me from that day as anger and hatred grew bigger and go out of control. I didn’t know what I was about to face ahead. Since I had to take up the feeling of regretful and depression, I grew arrogant and started to forget all the good things she had once taught me. I hated her and I was stupid. I’d talk behind her back and insult her with other students. I made other students think bad about her, yet I still had no changed. Not only that, but I started to improve in my academic performance. I grew stronger each day despite the fact my teacher wasn’t there for me anymore. I felt incomplete because she wasn’t only destroy myself nut her too. I missed her a lot. The words “I’m sorry” tried to come out but it all seemed to fail. I tried everything I could. I consulted my friends but they turned their backs on me. I was completely lost and didn’t have the least idea on how to get back on the right path. I had to see her, but how? Will she ever forgive me? Am I qualified enough to be forgiven? The thought just faded away. I still remember the good days I used to share with her and every time I did I realized I missed her too much. Suddenly, the thought had struck me. The thought was not getting her blessings while I’m about to undergo the most important examination in my life. How was I to succeed if I don’t get my teacher’s blessings? It sounded too impossible to me. This time, I had to see her and I was determined.
I made a special card for her and I wrote a piece of some of the lyrics from a top music band, Westlife, their song “Against All Odds”. The words somehow seemed right as a symbol of an apology. Making it was easy, giving it to her was hard. It took me nearly a day to give it to her and I’m glad I finally did. As I approached her door, a mixture of feelings were pushing and pulling me back and forth and that made it hard to go and see her. Gradually after a helpful friend of mine consoled me, I felt I was ready to confront her and apologize. I knocked on her door and she was there like always, in front of me. I went to her room and got on my knees. I told her every single sins and regret I had inside. Tears was running down my cheeks and as I did she comforted me like she always did. This time I knew it, it was a chance of a lifetime. She had forgiven me and the words just slipped out. She held out her hand and I grabbed it. I held her hand for as long as I could and I knew things are going to turn out for the best. I had won her back and this time I’ll never let go of her again, never.
As for that, to the greatest teacher, I convey this gratitude and acknowledgement to you for being the best teacher in my entire life. As people say, experience is the best teacher, then you are my experience. I don’t know how to thank you enough for the many priceless and valuable lessons you’ve taught me. I hope our relationship shall remain forever and you’ll always be my greatest teacher. Thank you for being such a wonderful you.
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